I'd die for you
by LoneCard
Summary: Mello... you know I'd die for you, right?" With Matt gone, Mello won't have anything to hold him back. Matt would die for the one he loves. Rated T for language/ implied suicide. MattMello, One-shot.


"Matt?"

Mello had walked in to silence, and immediately knew something was off. Usually Matt had his video games blasting, sounds of either violent guns and car screeches or bouncing mushroom and cheesy background music threatening to deafen the red-head. Mello looked around the living room, games untouched, television off. Not even a PSP or Game Boy lying on the couch. That couldn't be a good sign.

"Matt?" He called again. "Matt, there's something I need you to do!"

Nothing. Mello walked uneasily around his apartment. The silence was really getting to him now. Matt never went out, and he doubted that Matt decide to take a nap. Something was defiantly wrong. "Matt, you're creeping me out now!"

Mello walked into the kitchen, getting himself a chocolate bar to calm him down. He also clutched the video game he had brought for Matt. Mello had no idea what kind of game he would like, his taste being so varied, so he had chosen a very violent one that reminded him of his mafia days. Hopefully, it would be to his red-head's liking.

Normally, Mello could've cared less abou Matt's video game obssesion. He probably wouldn't have even noticed the silence today. However, Mello had noticed Matt was behaving strangely. Very strangely. He was less spirited, less…him. He rarely spoke, and when he did he seemed less…alive. Mello shivered slightly as he remembered a horrible conversation with him a few days ago that had scared him so, so much.

_"Hey, Matt!" Mello snuck up behind Matt, wrapping his arm around the redhead's waist as he poured himself a small glass of iced tea._

_"Hey," Matt responded, a little too quietly and a little too emptily for Mello's liking._

_"Matt, can I ask you something?"_

_"Sure."_

_"You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?" Mello held him a little tighter._

_"Yeah…" Matt half-smiled. "Mello?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to die?" Mello blinked. Matt continued. "Not, like, dying. I mean…what happens to you? If someone committed suicide, would they feel better there? If you killed yourself for a good cause, then you'd be happy, right? Not like a retarded terrorist thing, I mean…if you were helping out a friend. If you knew you were only in the way, or if your friend wanted something this badly, and your death would let them get it. That makes sense, when you think about it. Knowing you gave your life for someone you love, that their life is better thanks to you. To die for the person you love, anyone would do that. That would be worth it, right?"_

_Mello didn't move. He was freaked. He started shaking. More than just what Matt had said, it was how he said it. _

_It seemed…too…_

_Hopeful. Not depressed at all, but hopeful, like what he said was made him feel better. Like what he was saying was a good idea. How could he stand there, sipping iced tea, having just said something so horrible in such an optimistic way? Matt couldn't be serious. Did he…no...he wasn't….He couldn't be serious."...If you think about it that way-."_

_"Matt?" Mello turned him around, so they were facing each other."Please…don't ever talk like that again. Or I'll fucking shoot you."_

_"Oh...Sorry," Matt mumbled, not looking Mello in the eye. "I just…sorry." He broke away from the blonde, and slowly marched to his room, his head bent down. Mello stood rooted to the spot._

_"Matt…what's going on?" But Matt had already gone._

He tried to push that memory out of his head. He didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

Mello was outside Matt's room now. Usually the two slept together, but they still had separate rooms; in case one got a cold or the flu, or if they had a fight, or if they just felt like sleeping by themselves for a night.

Mello hesitated for a while outside the door. Should he listen, or go in? Matt was probably doing something personal in there. Yeah, that would be it. Maybe Matt was surfing the web, playing an internet game. Maybe Matt was listening to his iPod. Maybe he was…

Maybe he was crying.

That's what Mello heard when he had placed his ear against the door. It was quiet, barely audible, but it was there. He knocked on the door.

"Matt…Matt, are you okay?"

No answer.

"Matt…I know you're in there. Matt, what's wrong?"

Again, no answer. Mello was freakin' scared at this point. When Matt felt upset, he played video games to make himself feel better. The fact that even that wasn't enough meant something huge was bothering him. The conversation popped back into his mind, and he was shaken up all the more. What was going on? He had to know.

"Matt, I'm coming in!" He yelled shakily, attempting to open the door. It was locked. "Matt, you stupid jerk, let me in!" Without waiting, Mello whipped out his gun and shot through the doorknob. "Matt! What the fuck…do…you…?"

Mello froze at the scene in front of him. Matt's eyes were red and his face tear-streaked, though there was a slightly peaceful look in his eyes. A sheet of paper and a pencil were on his desk.

And in his hand…

Held against his throat…

_Was a blade._

"Matt..." Mello began trembling, shaking violently. Tears started running down his cheeks. He didn't notice. "I…what…no…"

"Mello, please. I know this is what you want..."

"What?"

"If I do this, then you won't have to worry about keeping me alive, and you can beat Near..." He paused for a moment. "Beating Near is all you ever wanted. It would be a huge favor for you."

"N-no…" Mello took a few steps closer to him, then fell to his knees, his legs shaking too hard to support him. "Matt…."

"Mello, you'll finally get what you want." Matt had a smile on his face. "Think about it." He stood up from his desk and kneeled down in front of Mello, gently wiping away the blonde's tears with the hand that wasn't holding the blade. "When I'm gone, you won't have anything to hold you back. You won't have a burden-."

"But you're not a burden!" Mello cried, his shock being overcome by desperation. "You're-you're the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

"I know…" Matt smiled so happily. "Mello, I love you."

"SO DO I!" Mello yelled, throwing his arms around his lover, sobbing into his chest. "MATT, IF YOU DO THIS, I'LL-I'LL…don't do this!"

"Mello...you know I'd die for you, right?"

Matt gave Mello a kiss. Mello tried so, so much to make it last. It had to convince him that living was worth it. He just had to.

An hour passed.

Two hours.

Had Mello won?

"Good luck with Near." Matt said. He pushed Mello away from him and sat back down in front of his desk. "If you see him, tell him I said hi."

He placed the blade against his neck.

"Matt, don't!"

**FIN.**

_A/N: Since I'm attempting to improve my writing, constructive criticisms are welcomed. Thank you!_


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